i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
