went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize