you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
