I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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