I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I AM VODKA MAN
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
