Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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