So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
