I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
