trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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