That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize