Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
