Betty ford says i'm here all night
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Can I color on your dick again?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Drunk is not a location!
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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