Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
