TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
