I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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