drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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