'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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