As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
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