can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize