How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
