you told grandpa to call you daddy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
