Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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