I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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