Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
