I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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