Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
