you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
