So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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