what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize