3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
