in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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