the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Randomize
