you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
