so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
