dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
