Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize