my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
