don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Randomize
