OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize