My boss' voice literally gives me gas
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize