i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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