I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
