like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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