Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
