1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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