we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
