I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
