I'm really into asian looking animals
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
