I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
