Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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