I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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