No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
