I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
