I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
