The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
