So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
he thought i was a dude.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
