tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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