I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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