The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
