this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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