apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It was like giving head to a cactus.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
