No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize