he wants to bone in the snuggie
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize