Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I see more hoeing in ur future
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