You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Sorry about my life...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
